India’s newly elected tyrant Narendra Modi will begin his first state tour of the US in a few months. Previously wanted by the FBI for crimes against humanity, the wily old fox got Obama to rescind the charges so he could lecture the Yanks on their immorality and the growing power of the Tiger State…
In the past Narendra Modi wasn't the biggest fan of the old US of A. Indeed he was once reported to refer to it as the flea infested anus of the west. But now with India’s power growing, and America’s businesses totally reliant on their call centers, the powers that be in Washington have recognized that a bit of groveling to this upstart from Uttar Pradesh might be warranted. And to start their pandering they have arranged a “Ball with the Senators” for the Indian president, offering the chance for him to trip the light fantastic with hotties like Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, and Cory Booker. I am sure it will be a grand event except for one small detail; Modi’s hard line Hinduism prevents him from dancing. Though like most Indians, he has been known to tap his feet to the music of child molester Michael Jackson.
One of the hotties who will be shaking her tush for Modi.
So after this great start what else can the Yanks expect from this son of the Ganges? Well unfortunately for them Modi has their balls in his pocket. And you can bet this Bengali bastard will be squeezing them hard. Among the many cards Modi holds is the closure of the entire convenience store industry; he is already on the record in saying that if the Simpsons don’t remove Apu from the Quickie market he will order all the store clerks in the US home. Where will the lardarses of the USA get their sugar fix from then?
It seems the Americans are finally waking up to the new reality; their power is slipping away and now tinpot tyrants like Modi and Putin are strutting the world stage with impunity. It might be humbling, perhaps even shameful, but US President Obama knows he can do little for now except allow this Rajasthan ruffian welcome at the Whitehouse. A few years ago they would have only let him in through the staff entrance!
Can the Pothead President stand up to the new bully on the block - Indian President Modi?
Our prediction? By the end of trip Modi will have gotten most of what he wanted - a chance to show the white man that their time is up, and a bit of secret sinful time down at the titty joints on Times Square.