When some dickhead at Poos Unlimited decided it would be naff to invite the twitterers of the world to ask questions of Rupert's Herald/Sun loony, extreme right wing political shill, constipated, muckraker and bullshit artist extraordinaire Andrew Bolt, the avalanche of hilarity, wit and stupidity that ensued raised a new high for the Twitter platform. It also brought out a clear message that our country is not totally without humour and dominated by brainless, redneck, conservatives of the ultra boring and menace to humanity bent.
Last night as I scrolled through posts in the trend the whimsical smile on my dial slowly transformed into a chuckle, then the giggles came on until my body eventually tightened and my muscular system became overwhelmed by a spasmodic paroxism of laughter induced fits, tears rolling down my cheeks, and the ensuing kidney pain.
Having not tortured myself enough I could not resist to have another glance a few minutes ago and sure enough the laughs are still pouring through.
I share with my marketing colleagues a quick sampler of some of the important questions being asked of the respected Murdoch leftenant that have come through in the last 30 mins:
What are the GPS co-ordinates for Gilligan's Island? #askbolt
Would you rather fight 100 duck sized horses or 1 horse sized duck? #askbolt
A train leaves Brisbane at 6pm averaging 80km/h. Another train leaves Sydney at 7:40pm averaging 70km/h. Why are you a racist dick? #askbolt
Why do dogs lick their balls? #AskBolt
If I have two goats, and I give you one goat, can we eat at yours tonight? #AskBolt
I've had a cold for over a week now. It's slowly improving, but still my nose is blocked. How can I fix this? #AskBolt
Was that someone sneezing, or a dog barking? #AskBolt
How many licks does it take to get to the center of Tony Abbott's arsehole? #AskBolt
How do I change the toner in my photocopier? #AskBolt
#AskBolt - when you & Rupert have sex, which one is the bitch?
Is the hokey pokey what it's all about? #AskBolt
If a tree falls down in the forest, and nobody is around to hear it, do you still write an opinion piece criticising boat people? #AskBolt
Can you recommend a good handyman in Randwick? #AskBolt
Who is the better kisser, Tony Gina or Rupert #AskBolt
Do you think trees mind getting pee'd on or you think they appreciate the extra nitrates and anions? #AskBolt
#askbolt if there was a worm that swallowed another similar size worm whole, would you rather be the inside or outside one and why?
#askbolt Who was your favourite mouseketeer from the Micky Mouse Club
More hilarity and similar items of national importance here:
(Catch you on the flip side)