Created: Friday, 27 May 2005 Written by ChatoWorkers danced in the streets
when the American Prime Misery of
Ostrichlia, Judas Wino Holocaust,
the ruthless ethanol-fuelled
psycho and defender of the
workers, announced his fair
industrial relations reforms. This must be the crowning
vindication of the socio-economic
theories found in MEIN KAMPF and
a payoff for the years eagerly
spent in the character-forming
OSTRICHLIAN HITLER YOUTH by
little Judas Holocaust, back in
the thirties. How sweet this must
be for the tiny sociopathic
American Superman, and how proud
his father Adolf would have been.
So great was the joy for some
bludgers that they scourged their
backs with razor-wire until the
streets became slimy with blood.
Their joy is easy to understand,
for this is the first time the
bludging workers and welfare
cheats of Ostrichlia had an
opportunity to propitiate the
business gods and expiate their
their sins against the fair and
In the words of one low-class
aspirational homeless bludger
from beautiful Latham Valley,
"Mate, this has to be the best
thing since sliced bread! The
P.M. has my vote at the next
election for sure.
I will try harder than ever to
get a job now that I can be
treated with even more contempt
by my future boss as I crawl
right up his arse."
As he drove a broken bottle into
his face with violent gusto, he
explained his joy.
"I have felt so guilty about
being a bludger, I've been trying
to find a savage way to die for
GLOBAL FREE TRADE to gain some
forgiveness from the P.M. and his
very fair business mates."
Pointing to the bloodied broken
bottle, he spoke of fairness.
"Mate, to me this bottle is the
P.M., and when I plunge it into
my face, that's fairness working.
My blood is what I pay to the
HOWARDLAND for my uselessness!"
Beaming with well-paid happiness,
Slim Beanbagzly, the leader of
the invisible opposition, was
effusive in his praise.
"I never thought I would see this
I am so happy for the bludging
working stiffs and those welfare
cheats who now have the best
chance ever, to offer their lives
in noble sacrifice to the stern
forces of GLOBAL FAIRNESS!"