Monstralia's Thousand Year Reich starts TODAY and is functioning exceptionally well!
Max Gross reports on the 2nd Anniversary of the Abbott Government's anal scumbuggery
For two shudderingly grotesque years, Australians have endured the incompetent reign of Tony Abbott PM and his "team" of intellectual pygmies. Two years of broken promises, empty rhetoric and inane three-word slogans. Two years of gaffs, grifts, squibs, asinine brainfarts and embarrasing pratfalls.
Two years of lies.
So pop the bubbly and let the beer flow like wine! $3000 Grange for everyone! Chaff bags all round! Black is white is black again and around and round the bullshit bush we go! Lie, deny, lie again and as you were, sir! So, relax and have a go, the glass is half full again... until it isn't.
Jobs, growth, security and the poor will always be with us, so kick 'em while they're down and party on, chaps!
Nobody has done more to sabotage jobs, growth and security - and parliamentary procedure - than Captain Calamity and his team of grifters, crackpots and hacks.
With one year left before Tiny Maggot must call an election these are dangerous times that require us all to be aware and alert to the political putsch undermining our assumed freedoms and protections, our democracy, humanity and human rights.
I say assumed because here in Australia no such specifics appear in our Constitution.
For two years not a day went by without another of Abbott's solemn promises, blood oaths, iron-clad pledges or rolled gold turds being flushed straight down the dunny, all said and done with a straight face and not a skeric of shame or admission of volte face.
It's as if these malicious frauds actually think they're still successfully fooling people. And who knows? Maybe out there somewhere in Aussie ga-ga-land there is somebody hiding in an Outback cave with both forefingers in his ears, his eyes closed, singing the la-la-la song really loudly while a cruel, calamity-prone government in its death-throws demonstrates its contempt for due legal process, individual rights and democratic principles.
Team Abbott is not just weighing Australia down but also reversing gear and driving us backwards - at a gallop - into the 19th Century.
And what could be more Dickensian - or, rather, Abbottsian (or Kafkaesque, mayhap?) - than the sight of Toxic Tony's "team" of grifters and "lifters" assault those at the bottom end of the economic food chain in order to satisfy the venality of the Big Enders.
Albo belled the rat when he said "They don’t like public education, they don’t like public health, they don’t like public transport, they don’t like the public broadcaster... They don’t like the public".
They don't like science either because, as Tiny Maggot once proclaimed, the evidence for climate change is "absolute crap" and he subsequently vowed to repeal the price on carbon his predecessor Julia Gillard PM had imposed on the nation's worst polluters, despite the fact that Maggot had previously said "If you want to put a price on carbon why not just do it with a simple tax." [https://youtu.be/ckcH0Wrmy74]
Oh yes! Here in Abbott's Ingsoc, double-speak and double-think apply as naturally as adult diapers. And we ARE being governed by adults. Tony says so!
And what Tony says goes, even when it contradicts what he just said five minutes before, and especially if it flies in the gobsmacked face of reality.
When Australia's economy was solid and on track despite the GFC (thanks to the diligence of former PMs Rudd/Gillard/Rudd when they weren't biting off each other's ears) Abbott's team of twats screamed budget emergency, debt and deficit disaster!
Now that we're on the brink of an Abbott recession, everything is "functioning exceptionally well".
“Deep resilience of the Australian economy", Joe? [http://www.skynews.com.au/news/national/2015/06/03/hockey-says-economy-broadens-and-grows.html]
Smiling smurfs and dancing unicorns?
Oh no! A mix of additional spending, scrapping the revenue from the carbon price, removing the mining tax, dropping the bank levy and weaker growth have all conspired to see the budget deficit increase. For real.
But it ain't no Global Financial Catastrofuck, thank Cthulhu or we all would really be rooted!
Ah, the arcane cunning of the Maggot mind!
I can see that cornucopia of Liarberal budget surpluses now, fading in the distance like roadkill.
Oh, if only our Federal Trasherer Smokin' Joe had the latest model abacus, the glass would be half full again. Or something.
Two fecking years!
For two horrific years in Tony Abbott's hidden gulags on Manus Island and Nauru, death-murder-kill festered and grew a hellova faster than the economy, alongside child abuse, mental illness and rape.
But shh! Silencio! Das ist verboten! We do not comment on Operational Matters!
"If I see child abuse in Australia and I don’t report it, I can get into enormous trouble,” said worried paediatrician David Isaacs. “If I see child abuse on Nauru and I do report it, I might go to prison for two years.”
And this Abbott does in our name while 12 million people are homeless because of the Syrian civil war, with 4 million refugees and 7.6 million people internally displaced but not before Toxic Tony all but scrapped our foreign aid.
By 2016-17 Australia's aid budget will be 0.22 per cent of GNI - its lowest level EVER - in the bottom half of OECD nations and well below average.
More than 300,000 migrants have arrived in Europe this year alone, the biggest movement of people since World War Two, including that drowned infant doing the media rounds as a tragic photo meme.
That - all of that - is the direct consequence of European and US military interference in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and now Syria.
You broke, you own it.
The dead little boy was part of a group of Syrians who drowned off the Turkish coast attempting to flee their war ravaged homeland.
If they'd got as far as Australia Tony Abbott would have imprisoned them indefinitely in one of Australia's concentration camps on Manus Island or Nauru where they could slowly go insane or get assaulted or raped or murdered.
And so the global nightmare grows.
Germany is expecting 800,000 refugees.
That's about the same number that have settled in Australia. Since 1945.
Read that last line again!
Christ knows Europe is just as responsible as the USA - and Australia - for the human tide of asylum seekers risking everything to escapee the Middle East maelstrom George W Bush and his accomplices unleashed in 2003.
France bombed Libya, deployed aircraft to Jordan and the UAE, and bombed ISIL in Iraq. Also in Iraq, the Netherlands launched more than a 1000 sorties against ISIL.
And how many European countries deployed troops to Afghanistan? For awhile Denmark was suffering more casualties on a per capita basis than any other nation. And Poland took part in the 2003 invasion of Iraq. And that is by no means a complete EU role call.
One can only wonder what the feck were they thinking?!
So that drowned infant is a direct consequence of European and US interference in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and now Syria.
You broke, you own it.
Governments seem immobilised with shock at the scale of the humanitarian disaster.
I can't believe I am sitting here calmly jotting down this drivel while hundreds of thousands of desperate families all but hurl themselves into the sea to get away from the bloodbath we helped start.
Who ever imagined that a refugee catastrophe on this scale would be a hallmark of the early 21st Century?
For decades now, Australian governments - predominantly of the Liarberal brand - and mainscream media have maligned refugee boat arrivals but a recent Senate inquiry tapped into a rare speck of sanity and deduced all asylum seeker children should be removed from the Nauru detention centre because the centre is “insupportable”.
Widespread allegations of child abuse, violence against asylum seekers, deprivation and sexual assault continue to highlight the horrendous conditions on that isolated and corrupt Pacific rock that the Abbott gang wilfully ignore.
Says our newly minted Monster for Immigration Penis Dutton: “It’s an issue for the Nauruan government.”
Yes, the corrupt, near bankrupt Nauruan government that the Abbott government - OUR government - bribes to do its dirty work.
Dutton demonstrates his gutlessness as well as his incompetence with pride so we know how he got the gig... on the Liarberal Party's version of "merit".
Jesus H. Crisps! Putting Dutton in charge of deciding anything is as frightening as having a bumbling obscurantist as prime minister.
As the New York Times put it yesterday, it would be "unconscionable" for the European Union to follow Abbott’s "inhumane" refugee policies.
Meanwhile Calamity Abbott makes the usual excuses: "I want to make it absolutely crystal clear..." that he is a gutless, witless grub of a man.
I want to make THIS absolutely crystal clear:
Under international law, a refugee is anyone who, being outside his country of nationality or habitual residence, has a well-founded fear of persecution because of his/her race, religion, nationality, social group or political views, and is unable or unwilling to gain the protection of that country or to return there, for fear of persecution.
Clear enough, right?
Not for Team Abbott.
Their modus operandi is: ignore law, reject fact, deride expertise, lie, cheat and shoot the messenger. Shit happens!
Captain Cactus just prevaricates, makes excuses and weaves dives for cover in the loving arms of the Hadleys, Bolts and Jones of the gutter press. Repugnant, right-wing sociopaths, all of them.
Last year an article in Fairfax detailed how to identify a PSYCHOpath.
Check out the criteria: "glibness and superficial charm, grandiose sense of self-worth, cunning/manipulative, pathological lying, emotional shallowness, callousness and lack of empathy, a tendency to boredom, impulsivity, criminal versatility, behavioural problems in early life, juvenile delinquency, and promiscuous sexual behaviour".
Well, don't that explain just about every fecking thing!
Tiny Maggot and his "team" of lying creeps are leading Australia off the cliff and into the abyss of banal evil.
And so, with national polls consistently demonstrating his dead-duck status, Tiny Maggot lunges for that hoary old standby: a blood-stained, khaki election.
With all this indescribable horror in play, his latest glib three-word slogan is LET'S BOMB SYRIA!
A perfect diversion from the Abbott government's slow-mo train wreck.
ISIL exists thanks to the US invasion and destruction of Iraq. Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, Rove, Blair and Howard, along with their successors and accomplices Obama and Biden, Rudd, Gillard and now Abbott, have gotten away with mass murder and some of the worst crimes against humanity.
And that dumb cunt Abbott yells "death cult" all day every day while for every Syrian slain by Islamic State militia, president Bashar Assad slaughters seven more. In fact, Assad's forces are responsible for more than three-quarters of civilian deaths in Syria so far this year.
Let nobody forget that Islamic State was formerly known as al-Qaida in Iraq. And there was NO al-Qaida in Iraq until the US and Britain invaded in 2003.
Iraq - a dictatorship like many other countries - was a stable, secular nation where people could go about their business without being shredded or beheaded until Bush - the world's most dangerous idiot, in Desmond Tutu's famous words - destroyed the nation and its infrastructure.
The US gave birth to ISIL.
And now Australia's most dangerous idiot has reached the earth-shattering realisation that Iraq now is 'nothing like' in 2003. With such blistering insight the mind boggles at his potential as PM and world statesman.
The bloke is a global laughing stock.
Ah yes, but it behooves us to remember that initially good German citizens chortled at and satirised parading Brown Shirts.
Tiny Maggot really does just make things up as he goes, blundering and babbling like mad old Uncle Fester at the family Christmess dinner after one too many egg nogs. His latest brain-fart almost defies description.
Hitler's Nazis "had a sufficient sense of shame to try to hide it"???
Are you fucking demented, mate?
The nazis documented EVERYTHING. They filmed their atrocities!
They expected future generations of the glorious Thousand Year Reich to look back on their works in wonder and admiration.
Abbott you are fucking certifiable!
This Jesuit (Opus Dei?) religious extremist bangs on about "death cults" while adhering to the delusion of Christianity, especifically the disgusting Catholic Church, a death cult worshipping graven images of a crucified Jew executed thousands of years ago.
Oh those barbaric IS whackos with their knives and beheadings! If only they had remote controlled Predator drones, Apache choppers and gunships that blow scores of bystanders to smithereens, how civilized that would be!
Meanwhile, more US citizens are being killed by fellow US citizens than by "terrorists" and yet gun control policy is as dead as Osama Bin Laden.
You want a Death Cult?
Look at the gun-toting, flag-waving, bible-swearing troglodytes of the USA, the biggest arms dealer and the most militarised country in the world!
Home of the boondoggle, land of the free market swindle and economic terrorism.
George Washington, head of the Continental Army in the American Revolution, the father of U.S. independence and the first U.S. president, used asymmetrical warfare and terrorism to send the British packing.But one man's terrorist is another's freedom fighter.
So explain to me again what is 'terrorism"?
While most dictionaries agree that terrorism is the use of violence and intimidation in the pursuit of political aims, Wikipedia notes there is neither an academic nor an international legal consensus regarding the definition of the term.
Various legal systems and government agencies use different definitions. What's more, governments have been reluctant to formulate an agreed upon, legally binding definition of terrorism, despite their willingness to fuck over a lot of people because of “terrorism”, the same excuse they use for spying on YOUR online activity.
We're dealing with pathological liars here.
Anyone that thinks given the opportunity Abbott, Brandis, Abetz, Morrison, Bernardi, Hockey, Pyne, etc would not use YOUR personal internet information for political gain is delusional.
They lie, cheat and make excuses, get caught out time and again and just keep repeating themselves as if nobody notices. Nothing these shysters, spivs and nutters say has any credence.
They do not think like normal people, they can rationalize or justify anything without qualm, without conscience. Pigfuckers, the lot of 'em!
Another promise? Another fail!
But hey, I recall another of Captain Cauliflower's many immaterial pre-election blood oaths was to get politics off the front pages.
Yes, yes, but... HEY LOOK OVER THERE! DEATH CULT! DEATH CULT!
In two weeks time, Saturday, September 19, there will be a federal by-election when the good people of the electorate of Canning in Western Australia will have the opportunity to elect a new member of parliament to represent them and their interests in our great nation's capital.
According to the Australian electoral Commission, Canning has been won by the party forming government at 21 of the 26 elections since the seat was first contested in 1949.Two polls released yesterday show a wafer-thin two-party preferred margin to the Liarberal Party 51% to 49% Labor.
Representing Tony Abbott's future prospects as prime minister is the specially parachuted-in Liarberal candidate from another state, the far-right religious extremist Andy Hastie who, interestingly, refuses to answer questions about his far-right religious extremism.
Especially anything to do with Creationism.
And the "fact" that god slapped the whole world together and everything in and on it in just six very busy days!
Yep, another demented, bible-bashing bigot.
The managing editor of Independent Australia nailed Hastie "as a somewhat rude, rather arrogant, extremely gung-ho, very self-entitled man child".
A perfect fit for Team Maggot!
And so, Dear Canningians, to paraphrase the fine, uplifting words of Mick and Keith, here's your chance to "scrape the shit right off your shoes".
This was Max Gross re-puking for Xenox News and, you know, I wish there really WAS such a thing as "god", or God or a righteous Jehovah somewhere out there in the cosmos. By now Tony Abbott would surely be turned into a pillar of salt... or a steaming cow pat.
And least then he would serve a purpose.