Created: Tuesday, 22 May 2007 Written by *CAPTAIN_AUSTRALIA*Transcript and turdscrape.
Urgent appeal to the Oz public.
John Howard PM: Economic Manager.
My, fellow, err, other Australians. As you know
already, my regime - so ably led by myself, has
delivered prosperity to everyone (except the
losers and we don't wish to speak of them).
Now look, there are some people talking about
something named "WorkChoices", I've never heard
the word before, I'm about the wonderful new
"TurdChoices" worker prosperity scheme from the
same people who brought you Iraqistan pride, GST,
and Centrelink humanitarian bludger bashing.
By the way, we have the cool NWO Biometric ID Card
ready, and it is actually NOT an ID Card!
Now let me get down to business. Here is a free
lesson in English diction. Now repeat these
words one hundred times:
"John Howard is a good economic manager,
nobody else can be as good as John Howard."
Now at first you will typically start to gag
and heave, and it is a not a good idea to eat
breakfast before this exercise. However, if you
persist, it gets easier and easier.
Eventually you will be able to listen to other
negative messages, such as these:
"Oz household debt over a trillion dollars",
"Oz foreign debt approaching a trillion dollars",
"Balance of trade negative for five years",
"True inflation rises through the roof".
And you will hear nothing except the mantra:
"John Howard good national economic manager."
I cannot tell you just how much help that will be
in my bid to slither back into office. Things are
getting a bit tight and I have plans to do an
expensive renovation of the Kirribilli House
vintage wine cellar!