Created: Friday, 19 May 2006 Written by Chato
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More powerful than a speeding fridge
magnet - another non-core promise?

As the Howard/Costello economic collapse
draws near, and the ominous rumblings of
a serious depression can be heard, the
awakened anxieties of the self-seeking Oz
dullards need soothing once again.

The signs are bad, and spectator sport
and general permission to bash the
downtrodden are no longer sufficient to
quell the bovine lowings of disquiet
emanating from the Oz cattle.
Uncle Suckhole has noticed that his
shonky edifice of lies is showing its
true nature, and Kim Bigbagofshitzly's
best efforts have not calmed the mob, so
it is non-core-promise showtime.

Very perky from his latest round of
nourishing arse-sucking travels, the
repulsive little Oz treasure has
slithered to meet the challenge.

Like a colossus made of steel bedpans
that have corroded to the point where
their vile contents are ready to burst
forth, spattering the adoring public,
Johnny "Pretty Face" Hogturd sternly
promises to hold back the wolves of
global financial rapacity.

His fiendish plan has all the wonderful
character of all his previous acts of
national salvation, and will silence his
fiercest critics for all time.

At no very high personal cost, the
little Oz malignancy shall legislate
that all first-born babies shall be
thrown to the rabid international
financial wolves, to be torn asunder in
an orgy of blood-soaked profit lust. In
this way, property prices, low interest
rates, very low wages, and very high
prices, shall be preserved as the vital
non-core Oz values.

We can all look to a bright future of Oz
dullards having watched some brutal
spectator sports, pouring into the
streets to bash each other to pulp in an
orgy of Ostrichlian joy and solidarity.