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Last 100 XenoxNews Articles

  • World Leaders Pretend

    Hey! Check out these guys...
  • Getaways.

    Yeh. Getaways.
  • My plea to our Alien betters... Please Save Us!

    Mother Earth. We have fucked her red raw. And now she is infected with a disease of our own making. And her temperature, it soars.
  • Mercenary Mutiny: Where is the Love?

    Ukraine’s Russian nightmare rolls on. Or is Russia’s Ukrainian nightmare? The Wagner Group mercenary army, which apparently has done most of the fighting for Russia in Putin’s bogged down war in Ukraine, has mutineed and were “marching on Moscow.”
  • President Trump 2024. Can any good come of it?

    The story of Trump is a story as old as America. A renegade who took on the world and won. At least once anyway. No comebacks in American lives said F Scott Fitzgibbon. But in 2024 can President Trump prove him wrong...
  • Extend your lifespan...breath less

    Well, here is a cracker for you. Some Poindexters have discovered that if you reduce your oxygen intake you can live longer. Indeed, their mice were able to live on average 50% longer if they reduced their Oxygen intake. Seems a bit counter-intuitive, but let's look behind the data to see what's really going on...  
  • Overcoming a Corroding, Long COVID Infected Brain

    Chance of getting Long COVID? 10% - 20% with every infection.
  • Growth as an accelerant to freedom

    Comparison is oft drawn between Australia's ~80 000 centuries of indigenous culture and several hundred years of British colonial culture.
  • Drone Attack On The Kremlin - The Real Story

    After thorough surveillance and analysis both US and Russian experts have determined that the recent attacks on the Kremlin were not conducted by drones but by vehicles of unknown origin, aka UFOs!
  • It's A Man's Life in the (Pirate) Navy

    Tales ribald and true. Just you and the boys cruising the 7 seas.
  • Austrailia Gonna Git Invaded By USA....

    You Aussies better git ready fer the Great USA Beer Invasion of 2023!
  • Do you believe? Can he be America's Saviour?

     Artist rendition of when President Trump found the suitcase of Money from Vlad Putin that inspired him to run for President.
  • AI in the News

    As an AI language model, ChatGPT has revolutionized the field of journalism by providing a tool for generating news articles at scale. Many media organizations have already started using ChatGPT to create news articles, from small news outlets to large media corporations. One such organization is Reuters, one of the largest and most respected news agencies in the world. Reuters has been using ChatGPT to produce news articles on a variety of topics, from sports to finance. According to a report by Reuters, ChatGPT has helped the organization to increase its output of news articles, while also reducing the time and resources required to produce them.
  • 20 years since Iraq war... And still the same bullshit flys

    Back in the day we used to often have Monsveneris publishing the Fair Use Notice articles from Counterpunch et al on the bullshit and lies that the Yanks spread about for their Iraq war. Oh what a great time it was for the geniuses of Yankee public policy and lame ass journalism. A good summary of how the Yanks got their 'Iraqi Freedom' on is here: Selling the Iraq War a how to guide.   Question is, have they learnt their lesson? I mean surely the Yanks wouldn't lie about their Wars of Choice again...
  • Can't We Just Magick Away the CO2?

    The climate crisis. It can be seen everyday, all around us, and everywhere. Floods, fire, and pestilence. Biblical in it's intensity. Apocalyptic in its intent. Hey, that gives me an idea. Well they do say desperate times call for desperate fiends...  
  • The Covid19 Conspiracy Explained Once And For All

    My read on the Covid19 virus and vaccine conspiracy in ten dot points.
  • Unhappy Anniversary, Ukraine

    Today marks one year since Russian Czar Vladimir Putin ordered the invasion of Ukraine. The war rolls on but appears to be at a stalemate, despite – or, rather, because of – the involvement of foreign mercenaries and massive amounts of military hardware donated to Ukraine by the US, EU, UK and even Australia. Vlad the Impaler
  • Did Chancellor Scholz just make the deal to Make Germany Great again?

    Leopards for Konigsberg? After a lot of arm twisting and tongue lashing from the United States, German Chancellor Olaf Scholz has finally allowed the release of the German Leopard tank to the embattled armies of The Ukraine. But the question on many observers’ lips is what has changed? Why did the shiny domed Scholz change his mind after for so long saying no?   Soon to steamroll the Russkis. The Leopard Tank.
  • Surprise, Surprise! (updated)

    This article is being updated as new information becomes available. The "Twitter Files" provided solid proof that more than several three letter agencies not only track all Twitter content but have been actively manipulating narratives and instructing Twitter staff to censor, ban, shadow ban, search ban and suspend accounts. What is surprising is that there are people that are surprised by the revelations.
  • Cops Killed

    Now is that good or bad?  
  • Pastor Scott Morrison: The Devil You Know

    This morning Scott Morrison – Sideshow Scott, Scotty from Marketing, the Liar from the Shire, Bullshit Boy, Pastor Disaster – was censured by Parliament, the first former Prime Minister in Australia’s history to be officially and thoroughly condemned by his peers, the condemnations set in Hansard, forever.
  • Sean Penn to star in new Stepan Bandera biopic

    Sean Penn is set to produce, direct and star in a movie biopic of much loved Ukrainian hero and legend Stepan Bandera. Penn announced the new production shortly after the world wide release of the beautifully filmed and potentially war changing gesture of him handing his Oscar to the embattled Ukrainian president. Stepan Bandera in folkloristic Cossack costume (Source: Wikipedia)
  • Relevancy

    How is it that a person can be labelled as "suffering from relevance deprivation syndrome" or be criticised with the "struggling for relevancy" barb? Is this type of criticism targeted at the person specifically for "appearing" to struggle for relevancy? "The poor blighter thinks that there are relevant things that he might do, the deluded chap. But nothing is relevant. Vincent's struggle to achieve relevancy is ridiculous."
  • Big Black Stacy Abrams - From Pick'n Cotton Tar Runn'n Fer Georgia's Goobanor...

    That fat 'ol gal, Stacy Abrams, I done see she be runn'n fer Goobanor of Georgia.
  • Peter Dutton's Nostril Flaring

    It is no secret that the federal Liberal party's marketing team are working hard to present their new leader Peter Dutton in a softer and friendlier light.
  • Old Mate - The Rise and Fall of Colloquialisms

    Colloquial terms add colour, flavour and humour to language.Some colloquialisms emerge from the street and, like a virus, quickly go mainstream."Hold my beer" is a good example.
  • Betty Bites the Bullet

    Elizabeth Windsor, the “Queen” of England has finally died, aged 97, having “reigned” for 70 years. She and her inbred brood have been a background noise all my life but I still have no bloody idea what she or they actually did/do for a living.
  • Man of a Thousand Faces

    And there I was thinking I would never have to write another word about the demented Scott feckin’ Morrison... Even though the ousted con artist and former prime minister is now an insignificant backbencher, news of his abuse of power and disdain for democracy, transparancy, accountability, parliamentary procedure and government norms continues to cause outrage. The latest revelations are mind-boggling in their implications.
  • COVID Intelligence

    COVID19 is an intelligent virus Like any parasite it fights to survive It listens to its host for signals And then adjusts its containment accordingly.It can hide in a toe or a teste Or in a wounded knee. The clever host does not fear COVID19 The clever host exploits the fucker The clever host knows 19 is listening and proceeds to issue commands.The clever host takes advantage of the invader And uses it for systemic aggrandisement. Just as psilocybin communicates with it's imbiber COVID19 listensSo if you are fortunate enough to contract this clever virus Proceed to issue it commands! And instead of it lazying around in your lung or spleen Get it to work repairing whatever you need.
  • "I am just driving My Tractor into Amsterdam for a while"

    Freedom fighters or just plan old fuckwits? Or is it something more sinister perhaps. Translated from Dutch, the voices from the farmer convoys parading around that country: "Just me and my mates going for a drive, that's all." "We are going up there cause we have had a gutfull." "Don't you jab tell me what to do!"
  • Strike at the heart of Putin's Fiefdom to stop his War on Freedom in the Ukraine

    Desperate times call for desperate measures. Each day sees the embattled defenders of the freedom loving Ukraine being slaughtered, their cries for weapons and ammo unheeded by the jelly-kneed leaders of France and Germany. Is the only solution now to decapitate the Head of the Russian Snake?  
  • That Damn Squeaky Albo is now our PM

    "The human brain can infer one’s own and other individuals’ mental states through metacognition and mentalizing, respectively. A new study in PLOS Biology has implicated distinct brain regions of the medial prefrontal cortex (PFC) in metacognition and mentalizing..."
  • Election 2022: Aussies come up for air

    That’s it. Done, dusted and exhausted. My bottle of Proper Twelve Irish whiskey is empty and the worst, most corrupt, cruel and duplicitous prime minister and Australian government in history has been roundly crushed and routed. It feels less of an historic victory than a return to basic human decency.
  • Oz Election 2022. Polls say the race is tightening, and ScoMo can still win!

    Yes, that's right you latte sippers. It seems the more the Aussie voter sees of 'Albo', the less they like him. And why not; he is just another labor hack that want to raise taxes and waste money on the 'luvvies' favorite causes...
  • Down & Dirty Downunder: Election 2022

    "The Liberal Party has tended to avoid worrying the electorate with actual policies, focusing instead on proving the truth of the observation from H.L. Mencken to the effect that ‘the whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by an endless series of hobgoblins, most of them imaginary.’ " I stopped watching televised news after the 2019 federal election. I just use the TV screen to watch Netflix or DVDs now. For the 2022 election I have avoided most “news” reports about it and have just dabbled here and there on social media and independent online news sites. So much better for my blood pressure!  
  • Is there a Solution for the mess in Ukraine?

    The wanton destruction and killing by Putin's armies in the Ukraine has shocked the civilised world. Here in Europe we believed this type of thing was all in the past. But now, sights we thought beyond the pale are being re-enacted like it was that Georgian beast Stalin storming into Eastern Europe back in 1945. What a nightmare! We all want this war to stop, but how?  
  • Splash the Cash Albo!

    Anthony Albanese is the latest in a long line of ALP losers trying to become PM. Given their pathetic record, it looks like it's gunna be another uphill battle for them this election. Well here's a suggestion. How about trying something different for a change. A different tack. This time around... Splash the Cash Albo!    
  • Aussie Election 2022

    Christ. Are we going to have another election? How many of these fucking things do we have to do?    Here's Julia. A real Labor Legend and Winner.
  • Are you a sinner?

    If not, why not?  
  • Hallelujiah, Facebook & Fanatics!

    Once again Facebook has temporarily banned me from its “social media” platform because I said mean things about the bizarre Hillsong megachurch. And since I am permanently banned by Twitter for saying mean things about serial RWNJ Milo Yappapopolous, I shall vent my spleen here.
  • Covid Comatose Downunder

    Despite Australia’s federal and state governments pretty much abandoning all responsibility for the health and safety of the citizenry, the Covid pandemic remains a constant threat. Not that gormless Freedumbers give a shit. End Times and blocked dunny drains!
  • Vlad, Scott, Clive, Floods & Covid

    Fires in the west, floods in the east. Welcome to Australia as Autumn arrives. Meanwhile, in the Northern Hemisphere, Ukraine has skipped Spring and plunged into a Russian Winter of discontent.
  • War. In These Days

    Vlad, mate, have you gone mad? Trying to re-arrange Ukraine. Piece by Piece. Insane. Meanwhile the ice melts beneath our feet and the amount of methane we blow from our arses ever increases. And a small little thing mutates and infects us all. You know I was joking when I said "New Decade, Last Decade" but it is painfully coming true. The year 2030 will be like nothing here that's for sure. What to do? Well let's ask what our basket full of geniuses here at XenoxNews.com think...
  • Election Year Fer Australia! - Happy, Happy, Happy....

    2022 is Australia's Election Year. And as XenoxNews.com prides itself on giving all voices an opportunity here is our resident Fascist fuckwit Ricardovitz with his pitch to the Australian Electorate.
  • North of the Tweed River...

    ...they breed a different kind of man. A freedom loving man. Nothing they fear. They guard the river bank, naked and not ashamed.
  • RATs & Vice

    There are now supposedly more than 94,000 new Covid-19 cases nationwide. Official figures suggest that around 800,000 Australians have been infected by the virus. “Realistically”, says strategic consultant Troy Bilsborough, a former health media adviser in the Abbott and Turnbull governments, “it is probably double that; it is probably up to 2 million.”
  • End Daze – Covid Down Under

    What a difference a day makes. 35,054 more Covid cases in my rooted, rorted home state of New South Wales overnight. But no worries, everything is perfectly fine according to the gibbering, jabbering religious fanatics in charge of this escalating public health crisis. To quote Raina MacIntyre, Professor of Global Biosecurity, NHMRC Principal Research Fellow, Head of Biosecurity Program, Kirby Institute, UNSW: “Australia has swung from one extreme in pandemic control to the other – having great control of COVID, to now having the world’s highest rise in daily cases.”
  • The Prime Minister of COVID19

    You are expendable. Your family and friends are expendable. If you are old or frail or ill or otherwise vulnerable you are especially expendable, as Sideshow Scott, prime minister of Australia, has repeatedly made clear from the outset of the Covid-19 pandemic.
  • Aussie Covid Runs Wild… Again!

    More than 20,000 new Covid infections in New South Wales overnight, almost double yesterday’s official numbers released by the state government (even though the Chief Medical Officer admits “it is likely that the case numbers are higher than that”). Who’s taking bets? 40,000 more Covid infections tomorrow? 80,000 on Sunday? 160,000 Monday?? Tuesday??? Gold standard? Boy, am I getting shitfaced tonight!
  • Criminal: Australia’s Covid19 Clusterfuck

    New South Wales breaks another daily Covid-19 record with 12,226 more cases, 1 more death; Victoria 5,137 cases, 13 deaths, but accidental NSW Premier Perrottet has no regrets for his lethal stuff-ups and Prime Minister Morrison’s shitshow has redefined what constitutes a “close contact”, which the Australian Medical Assocation says will accelerate the Omicron outbreak.  
  • AUSSIE WANKERS FURIOUS - NO BUDGET HANDOUT FOR THEM!

    Australia's masturbators are fuming today after Treasure Costello's 11th budget failed to deliver any goodies for them. Despite handing out bucket loads of cash to every other important constituency, Costello failed to honor an election pledge to wipe off the GST on tissues so those who wipe themselves off could do it cheaper.
  • WRONG WAY! STOP! GO BACK!

    When the 2002 ASIO bill was introduced to the Federal Parliament, it was analysed and debated for 12 months, sometimes by more than one parliamentary committee, leading to crucial changes and bipartisan support. At the time, the Prime Minister declared that “through the great parliamentary process that this country has I believe we have got the balance right”.
  • Hillbilly Happy when Yankee Kyle Kills Some Commies With His AR-15

    Thar World is a better place cuz Kyle Rittenhouse killed commie Rosenbaum 'n tore up the flesh of some other Antifa commies in Kenosha.
  • Is Jesus and all his Lovers Leading Australia to the promised COVID-free land?

    Back in the day...You used to be embarrassed to say if you were religious. You would be (rightly) mocked and scorned. Laughed out of the room in fact! But now it seems there are heaps of bible-thumping, tongue wagging, Christian lunatics around. Who all love to loudly proclaim their Faith and tell all and sundry how they are Born Again Jesus lovers. And what's even worse is that some of these fuckwits are now in our political parties and holding the Reins of Power!   A sneak peek at NSW Premier Dominic Perrottet's underwear.
  • AUSSIE PM SCOMO CHOOSES THE SAILORS LIFE AND BUYS SOME NUCLEAR SUBMARINES!

    Is the AUKUS gunna get Raucous in the South China Sea?   Tough Guy Aussie PM Scott Morrison joined with the other two leaders of the Free World, UK PM Boris Johnson and US President Joe Biden, in announcing a new Alliance against Tyranny today. As part of it, ScoMo is gunna buy Australia some Nuclear Submarines...  
  • COVID19 COMES TO TOWN

    It’s here. It’s in my home town on the dozey Far South Coast of New South Wales. Two Covid-19 cases have been identified right here in XXXXXXX. Among the eight exposure sites between YYYY and ZZZZ are the ones I always expected to make the list: the local Woolworths and the Medical Centre I normally go to. Luckily, I have scarcely set foot outside in two months.
  • AUSSIE COVID19 FLOODGATES SET TO OPEN

    Our Ace Reporter Max Gross continues with his latest on the COVID Crisis engulfing our fair Nation. Remember if you want to be INFORMED and ENLIGHTENED stick with XenoxNews. We won't let you down!   On 18 June this year – two days after this latest outbreak started – the New South Wales government announced two locally acquired cases of COVID-19. This morning, the plague state of New South Wales announced another 1,431 COVID-19 cases and 12 more deaths to 8pm last night, a new daily record for Australia.
  • DELTA DAWN RISING DOWNUNDER

    The news headlines regarding New South Wales are growing increasingly bizarre, as bizarre in fact as the state premier’s statements. This morning, as NSW admitted to another 1,116 new Covid-19 infections in the 24 hours to 8:00pm last night – and another four deaths – Premier Gladys Berejiklian said the state had done “very well”.
  • GOLD STANDARD AUSSIE CLUSTERFUCK

    Another dismal day Down Under as the Coronavirus wends its larrikan way across the Lucky Country, as author Donald Horne once acerbically described Australia. The eastern state of New South Wales continues demonstrating its so-called “gold standard”. Or at least that is what both the incompetent Scott Morrison, the (alleged) Prime Minister, and the equally incompetent NSW Premier Gladys B call it.
  • COVID19 Down Under: Get Vaxed!

    Phoned my local General Practioner and booked a vaccination. At my age the only available option is Astra-Zeneca or nothing. A three week wait. Astra-Zeneca, which is apparently getting rebranded as Vaxzevira to distance the product from all the bad publicity and hesitancy. An hour later the clinic phoned to say they have had a cancellation and I can get vaxed tomorrow morning!
  • COVID-19 Criminal Negligence

    When will NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian and her dodgy state government colleagues be arrested for criminal negligence? This Saturday she announced 466 additional Covid-19 cases, four more deaths and 5km travel limit (down from the laughable 10km) for greater Sydney. If Gladys had implemented a strict lockdown for all Sydney and surrounds two months ago we would not now be in this growing crisis.
  • PLAYING THE GREAT GAME

    There are modern day spies in the International Discourse. As the Social Media of our mind envelopes our thoughts in it's insta-tweet-book tic-a-tok of love endorphins, how many of these villains are behind the scenes pulling the levers and promoting the lies? Well we all know Putin elected Trump. But who the fuck is responsible for Scott Morrison?
  • 18 Months Later – Covid Australia

    In February 2020, the Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison declared a pandemic and then sat on his arse while the Ruby Princess sailed into Sydney Harbour and dispersed the novel coronavirus across the country. Ever since, it has been a game of ‘rona whack-a-mole. Now, the Aussie state of New South Wales has recorded 77 new locally acquired Covid19 cases, 33 of which were infectious in the community. Gladys the Super Spreader
  • COVID-19: Do you feel lucky, punk?

    "Today the Victorian outbreak reached 60 cases and it was announced the lockdown would continue in Greater Melbourne for another seven days.” “NSW health authorities are working against the clock to determine when COVID-19 spread between the members of a Victorian family who holidayed in NSW more than a week ago… So far 243 people have been identified as casual contacts…” Meanwhile the UK has declared NO COVID-19 deaths for the first since the pandemic struck its shores, despite the PM there – Boris Johnson – being at least as much of a complacent buffoon as Australia’s Scott Morrison. Like Morrison, Johnson had wanted to let the virus run wild in order to acquire ‘herd immunity’, regardless of the even greater numbers of illness and deaths such a catastrophic hands-off response would have caused.
  • A Solution for all that Trouble in the Middle East...

    You know, many have tried. Shit, even we have tried! Have a look; we have published a number of plans. But still war and terror rages in the Holy Land. What is there to do?   This Pommy prick thought he had a great solution... hand it all to the Saudis!  
  • AUSTRALIA’S DAZE OF HEAVEN AND HELL

    Has there ever been a greater admission of failure by an Australian government? The reactionary Morrison LNP government is threatening Aussies attempting to fly home from India with 5 years in jail or a fine of up to $66,000 after dribbling idiot Health Minister Greg *unt made the unprecedented decision with an emergency determination under the Biosecurity Act that he did NOT implement for the UK or USA when those countries fell off the Covid-19 cliff.
  • BUMS WITH BEARDS

    An occasional series on the down and outs who should have a shave. Feel free to submit your own.
  • The Aussie Digger. Brave fighters or fair dinkum Fascist Fuckwits?

    Aussies. There is not much we can't do. Living, loving, and swimming. We can do it all. And for a long time one of the bestest things an Aussie could do was be a Digger. Our slouch hatted warriors, with a history of fighting the good fight, lit a warm glow in the heart of every dinki di Aussie. Our Aussie Diggers. Sticking it up the bad guys and living the carefree larrikan life. In Gallipoli. In Singapore. In Fallujah. Here is someone who felt the wrath of the Aussie Digger! Yeh, the Australian Military has a special place in every Aussie's heart. But lately there seems to be a bit of a stench rising from our brave boys in khaki...
  • Will the Rona ever be over?

    Here in Australia the state of Victoria’s COVID19 numbers have plummeted and NSW’s is creeping up again but our Pentecostal Prime Minister prefers to just let ‘er rip, undermining serious efforts by State leaders to contain the virus. Meanwhile, here are some interim global statistics.
  • PRIZE WINNIN AUSSIE POETRY

    Porno Poetry. Stoke the fire and read it on!
  • COVID-19 Aged Care Catastrophe

    EUGENICS DOWN UNDER! The latest startling local coronavirus news should pop the Australian state of News South Wales’ bubble of complacency but I doubt most people here will wake up. Wearing a mask is just such a hassle and we miss playing the pokies and pub crawling wa-aaay too much.

 

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