Aussie Election 2019!

Created: Friday, 17 May 2019 Written by Tex Lumbago
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Aussie elections. Do they never fucking end? That’s the way it seems to us at least...

Nonetheless, you can be sure will be there. Covering the election like Barnaby eyeballing a winsome lass in a Tamworth Pub.

Our correspondents will be inside the tally room, the Liberal party HQ, Bill Shorten’s missus, and the Greeny madhouse. If you want your election news hard and fast then you have come to the right place.

Abbott Family

 Most of these clowns have bailed, knowing the Libs are going to lose.

Our election coverage will be second to none. Have a look at our track record… it is Stella!

2016 - Malcolm Muffs It!

2013 - Now time to call in the favors

2010 - ALP Loser Brumby Gone. Now for Gillard!

2010 - PM Fucknuckle- My Plans for Australia

2007 - Lights out at Kirribilli

2004 - We have the News!


Election 2019 has shaped up to be a titanic struggle for Australia. Born again Christian Moron ScoMo pitted against Bill ‘finally got the balls to stand up to News Corp’ Shorten. With the polls showing that the contest is tightening up, it is sure to be an exciting Sat’day evening for Australia.  And one you should spend with


We will have reporters in the swinging seats

We will have reporters detailing the foreign reactions

We will have reporters every fucking where in our great and fucking green land!

Shit, we even have Max Gross!

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What more could you want?


We are in fact the last independent news gathering organisation in Australia. So expect only the facts, and all the insults that these mealy mouthed neo-liberal cocksuckers deserve.

No punches will be pulled.

No truth left unsaid.

No lies unreported. Your home for Aussie Election 2019.