Keeping it Real

Created: Monday, 22 June 2015
Written by Tex Lumbago
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During this short break...

Read more: Keeping it Real

Editorial Meeting

Created: Thursday, 09 May 2013
Written by Tex Lumbago
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Tex L
- Gave me a handful of colourful pills before the party got gate crashed. When that guy was beating me over the head with my cane I don't recall feeling any pain. I do remember the slow motion. Ahhh... 1984...
-I said which ones do I take. He said all of them. 


- Twas early 84

fat jap

  - Phil the pill.            
- I wish my brother George was here            
- Amazing to be alive still. Wonder for how much longer. Nearly fucking 50 you know which I used to think would be about the limit.            

- yes... Shouldnt you be on smack now?
- Well im still kicking but y'know any day...

- That was if I made 60 wasn't it. On the kandy korn now :O           

- Oi! Where'd u get it!

-Some cunt I met down the pub

-Not the cycle shop?

-That psychedelic anthropologist Dr i told u about is likely to move to Oz. Told him to look U up if he ends up in Melbum

          -We get Pecker for next summit? Be nice to see him again...

- Off to play some soccer with chinese and indians against Germans :p

-Sounds like a war game.. can I be Vichy again            

-Vichy? Think ur celine or something?

-Is it?

japan escalator

-Is what?

-Petcha? Good luck getting him to turn up!            
-Is it.. Celine / Vichy            

-I'll put the word on him...
-They were both at one stage.


- Ohio gazamus

-Gunna set up Xenoxnews public twitter list... Almagate us all undr one banner

 -Even your work stuff? Lol 


-Tell him you'll point the bone if he's not careful. Black catfish bone!            

-That should get him off his arse... Good idea. he believes that rubbish

 -Hmmm.. Maybe!

-Ok gotta run from subway to bus to Turf City Futsal fields! Spread ur goodness on the 'News... It needs it!

-But I always get rubbished and then feel the sadness of everything            
-Poor moi
-Boo hoo

-Nonsense... Get it on!

-Whattaya wan me to write about            
-Death and the unknown; the usual bark

-All of the above!

tits japan


-Just paste the thread             


Upgrade to XenoxNews.com Staff Toilet

Created: Tuesday, 21 June 2011
Written by XenoxNews Stiffed Reporter
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The plan for the upgrade to the XenoxNews.com staff toilets has been released.

The new facility was designed by the Swedish firm Magnusson, Angusson & Bjork and incorporates the latest in human waste management technology. The upgrade is expected to lead to a measurable increase in the productivity of the XenoxNews.com staff.


Below is a model of one of the new toilets:




The camera will be linked directly to the XenoxNewsTV youtube channel so the editor can keep an eye on the comings and goings of his staff. Construction will begin at the end of June and should be finished within two months.


Created: Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Written by Tex Lumbago
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Dear reader you may have noticed a new addition to our article pages - the ‘Offender Meter’

This device enables you to rate how offensive you find our articles. Please take the time to use it. Your feedback is important - if you are offended we want to know!


Can you see where it is now dickhead?


This is all part of our continuing drive to maintain XenoxNews.com as your one stop media website. Dear reader we are here to use and abuse. We welcome any suggestions you may have to keep XenoxNews.com numero uno in the wide web world. Just add them in our comments section and our team will get on to it right away.


Thank you,

Tex Lumbago (Editor) and The XenoxNews.com team


Created: Wednesday, 16 February 2011
Written by Tex Lumbago
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For ten years we have been Australia’s only Fair Dinkum Internet Newspaper.


A newspaper with an unrivalled record of integrity, truth, and excellence.


Always the Intelligentsia's first port of call during their daily browsing - www.XenoxNews.com


Over the last decade XenoxNews.com has

- never failed to bring you the facts on what is happening in the world; unafraid of any of the powers that be!

- provided you with hard hitting opinion and analysis that breaks the shackles of mainstream media groupthink!

- lightened the mind and thrilled the soul with our poetry and art!

- and given you that light amusement that gives you a chuckle and brightens your day :)



As editor I want to tell you dear reader that I have, and I will continue, to pour my heart and soul into this great Newspaper.

As proof of this I publicly make my Declaration of Principles:


XenoxNews principles


So remember...



Your only hope in a world gone mad!


Created: Tuesday, 21 December 2010
Written by Assistant to the Editor
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Google News has advised that they will no longer link to articles from XenoxNews.com



No explanation has been provided other than a vague reference to a potential "violation of guidelines" (an explanation not unlike Amazon's explanation for deleting the wikieleaks.org website content).

Is it because of the current poll relating to "toilet paper malfunctions?

Or could it be due to the three front page articles with strong reference to Wikileaks?

Perhaps it is because the Google News censorship department finds Xenox News is more lurid than other newspapers?

Or is it that the Google internet censors find that the content on Xenox News is less newsworthy than other so called major news papers?

Well, let's take a quick look at what Google News censorship department consider newsworthy papers. The papers that Google News sponsors at a very high level on any android phone. These are what the current main headlines are of the bigger corporate newspapers that Google promote in their news feeds:

The Daily Telegraph (Sydney): Rachael Finch bares all in nude photos
The Telegraph (UK): Editors Choice - There is nothing wrong with nudity
New York Times: Your Worst Christmas Gift

In fact the top story on Google News right now as I write this is:
"There's more explicit photos of St Kilda players to come, says teen girl"

These articles according to the Google News censorship team not only meet the "Quality Guidelines" but are featured items on Google News.

The nature of these hyped up trashy news story that are being featured on Google News, as opposed to the hard hitting, alternative and sometimes provocative news items that feature in Xenox News, suggests that all is not well regarding Google and internet censorship.

Whatever the reason for Google News decision to ban Xenox News it is a very clear sign that independence and free speech on the internet has a limited future.

Vale Google.




Email Correspondence from Google:

Date: Tue, 21 Dec 2010 11:32:40 +1100

Hello Alex,

We recently reviewed your site and are longer able to include it in Google
News at this time. We have certain guidelines in place regarding the
quality of sites which are included in the Google News index. If your site
is in violation of these guidelines, it will not be added to Google News.
Please feel free to review these guidelines at the following link:


We appreciate your willingness to provide your articles to us, and we will
log your site for future consideration.

The Google Books Team

Original Message Follows:
From: This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Subject: Re: [#17180562] xenoxnews.com
Date: Thu, 02 Dec 2004 09:03:37 -0800

Hi Alex,

Thank you again for your note. We have reviewed your site and will be
including it in Google News in the near future. You should be able to
find your articles in Google News within four to six weeks.

Thank you for providing your articles to Google News.

The Google Team